We Are the Problem with Youth Soccer

Youth soccer is broken—but not in the way most parents think. The problem isn’t the cost, the travel, or the commitment. The problem is us—the parents.

We’re obsessed with leagues, standings, and prestige. We want our kids playing at the "highest level," but we aren’t willing to fully commit to what that actually means. We complain about the travel, the costs, and the sacrifices, yet we are the ones driving these decisions. And more often than not, we don’t follow through on the very commitments we signed up for.

The Travel Debate

In the past month alone, I’ve had at least ten conversations with parents asking the same question: "Why do we have to travel to New York, Indiana, or Michigan for games when there are perfectly good teams in our area?"

The answer is simple: You don’t have to.

There are leagues in Ohio that play teams in Ohio. There are leagues in your city that play teams in your city. But if your child is in a regional or national league, travel is part of the deal. That was the choice you made when you accepted that roster spot.

And yet, despite knowing this upfront, parents continue to complain about the very thing they willingly signed up for.

The Commitment Problem

Beyond the travel, there’s a deeper issue: follow-through.

Youth soccer at a competitive level is not just about showing up for games. It’s about:

• Making training a priority—and arriving on time, prepared, and ready to work.

• Marking availability so the team knows who is actually showing up.

• Communicating if plans change, rather than ghosting the coach and teammates.

• Supporting team logistics, whether that’s carpooling, helping with fundraising, or stepping up when another family needs assistance.

When you join a high-level team, you are not just making a commitment for your child—you are making a commitment to an entire community of families who depend on each other. And yet, too often, we see parents who:

• Sign up for these teams but then complain about the commitment.

• Accept spots in travel leagues but then refuse to travel.

• Disregard team expectations and assume someone else will fill the gaps.

A Hard Truth Before Tryouts

As we approach tryout season and you consider the next team—or continuing with your current team—I’m going to say the one thing no one else will:

Do you really want to do this?

Does your kid really want to do this?

There is a level lower than the offer you are getting. There is a level with a lower cost, less commitment, and less travel.

If that is the right fit for your family, that is okay.

But if you do accept a spot on a high-level team, then you need to go all in. Mark your availability.

Make attendance a priority. Help with other kids, and ask for help when you need it.

Because if you’re not fully committed—if you’re not ready to do what it takes—then you are the problem.